The Final Letter?

Well, we had an okay week this last week. We were able to see Paul and Haxley again, but despite our best efforts and their promises, they did not show to church. I at least have solace that I did all that I could on my part to help them to understand the importance of church attendance. This week I'll definitely be sending the very same message to them again, especially with more boldness, but I fear that at least for Paul this may be the end of the line for him. This has been going on for weeks now. We had an especially powerful lesson with him talking about the power of prayer and how God can hear them and help assist us in our lives. The idea was to get him to pray for a way to get him to come to church and he DID pray about it at the end of the lesson, but in the end he didn't act upon it. This week I think we will focus on the importance of covenants and all that.

Sunday I had the opportunity to speak at church. They assigned me to speak on Self-Reliance in general, so on Sunday I spoke about both spiritual and temporal self-reliance. I have noticed a very definite improvement in how I give talks. I used to rely on a prepared talk, but now I can speak without even using notes. I actually DID prepare something on paper to speak at for the talk, and I had it on hand when I was speaking, but not once did I need to refer to it. Instead, I was able to speak my own mind on the matter. I think the preparation just helped me to have what to say in mind and establish a direction to go for the talk. Even after preparing the talk, I realized that there were many other things I could speak on pertaining to the subject, like more scriptural examples. I wished I could have spoken more about these, but because of time and the fact that an interpreter needed to translate what I was saying to the congregation, I could only say so much. People came up to me afterwards thanking me for the talk. One of the members of the District Presidency came up and said that he wished I was staying for a couple more weeks so that they could have me speak at the district conference.

Such was last week. I also bore my final testimony in Zone Meeting and related my experiences as a missionary to the Zone. I wanted to really help encourage them to do right by the Lord. 

I'm not sure if I will have time to write to you next week. How my travel plans for Monday next week seem to make it so that I won't be able to afford time to write you about this week and so on. I think I will just take the time to share a few reflections about my Mission.

If I had been writing this about a year ago, I would have said that the theme of my mission - or rather the takeaway from my mission was obedience. Now I see a far bigger picture than that. It's not so much as obedience as it is about change. President Erickson once taught me about the importance of change as a missionary. He basically told about how all missionaries need to experience change to spiritually progress as children of God. It also reminded me of something that Elder Tad R. Callister said one time, that we aren't just trying to change our behaviour, but our nature as people. I would like to think that I have experienced in part a change of that nature, right down to the very simple things. Before I left on mission, I wouldn't have described one who either prayed or read scriptures with much intent. It had been many years that I had regularly prayed vocally, and I could never say that I "feasted upon the words of Christ". Imagine how all that can change when you go on a mission. My Heavenly Father has quite literally thrown a lot at my direction to encourage me to humble myself and change my habits as a person. Can I say that I'm absolutely perfect in these things? No, but I do now see the importance of scripture study and prayer. I especially have learned the importance of praying vocally. When you slow down and really take time to express your heart to the Lord, you really think things out more and there grows a much stronger connection between each other. And what can I say about scripture study? Well, it looks like a rainbow vomited all over my scriptures with markings and notes. I can say that I have a stronger love for the scriptures than ever before.

Of all the things I have learned on mission though, the most important thing I think I have learned is humility. I believe it is at the core of everything that we do, what makes or breaks our salvation. You have to be humble to have faith in Christ. You have to have humility to be able to obey the commandments. You need to have humility to repent. I've seen missionaries whose entire experiences weighed upon whether they humbled themselves or not. Those he changed for the better definitely humbled themselves and submitted themselves to the will of the Lord. Those who didn't went through the motions. They still had a great time, but they got nothing lasting out of it. I hope that I'm one of those missionaries that fall under the former category. Through my mission, my Heavenly Father has made it more than known that I have my own weaknesses and flaws, and I know now that I must be willing to submit to His will.

I am absolutely thankful for this experience. I think it has helped make me become a better man. I really hope the principles I have learned here will help me for the rest of my life.

I'll see you soon.

Elder Massey